I will be hitting the big 30 in November and the major question on my mind is what do I have to show for it?
Of course I can begin thinking and listing out all the “things” I think I have achieved – my job, my assets…etc but are they really worth it? Is this all my life amounts to?
This seems like one of those notes I used to write in my journal many years ago. I remember I often called it “my black book”. This was cos all the dark depressing thoughts I had were penned/penciled down in there (I should find it and dust it up). I did that for many years till I became stronger and better at dealing with them. This is not one of those notes.
Sunday, as I walked into FWC, I noticed on my left images and pictures of a man. A man that I had never seen before but I strangely recognized. As I entered church and sat down, I saw more pictures of this same man. I later realized that this was a man that made all of this happen. This was the man that God worked through to birth the immense structure and ministry under which I now sat. Through out that service and afterwards one word kept running through my mind – the word LEGACY. What will my legacy be? What will I be remembered for? What impact will my 3 decades on earth have produced? All these questions point me to one conclusion and that is that “I have failed you Lord”. As I sit and write this, I feel the great potential locked up within me that is gradually being snuffed out by the thorns in this life, by indiscipline, complacency and lack of planing. Which is why, starting today I commit to do the following;
- To break down my life’s vision statement
- To plan for it every step of the way
- My exact plan for my career path
- My exact plan for a woman My exact plan for marriage and settling down.
- To pray fervently for my fathers help and guide (I am a spiritual being above all else) and,
- To do all this daily, no matter what.
“We must put a stop to such distractions and get into such a living relationship with God that our relationship with others is maintained through the work of intercession”
To those who have had no agony Jesus says, “I have nothing for you; stand on your own feet, square your own shoulders. I have come for the man who knows he has a bigger handful than he can cope with, who knows there are forces he cannot touch; I will do everything for him if he will let Me. Only let a man grant he needs it, and I will do it for him.” – The Shadow of an Agony, 1166 R